The Maze

I hate viewing these updates as milestones in my life, but if not that, than the only other thing I can call them are updates and that hardly sounds profound.
But for once I have no major event to mark the significance of this writing. In fact, I find that there is no hidden meaning, superficial ideal or amazing epiphany that has lead me to write to you. Which is not to say that my words hold no meaning nor merit. You'd be sorely mistaken to think so. It's the contrary that holds truth. However meaningless my words are to you, I will think different, why write if I don't?
I obviously write this for you to read it. I like sharing myself, I like being known. I often call it selfish though I am trying to share myself in this way. Hopefully you can know me now. Hope.
I have successfully fulfilled my duties as a student and passed my first year of higher education and couldn't be more uneducated. Through the tests and assignments, laugh and joys mixed with tears and rage, I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing, and more often than not am found strapped down to a rollar coaster ride that I paid for but can't remember why. I have dreams, and wants. Hope. But what am I doing? I'm not sure, and I wish I was, three times over. Maybe that's the excitement of it? I know it's the fear.
Being trapped in a dark maze, knowing where you want to be but not quite sure how to get there, and not sure if you're doing it right is spooky.
I know that no one should wait for things to come, but there's an overwhelming desire that tells me to. Waiting doesn't mean giving up. I'll wait to see the light at the end of this dark maze. If I continue to continue I have no doubt I'll make my way out, but in what order? Where will I be when I emerge? Where am I now?
Why is there such a need to know? Why not? Right?

-Taylor J. Pridgen

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